Dear Costco,

Costco, I love you no more.  While you are so incising with seemingly endless collection of things to buy from silverware to computers to food to clothes, I find myself distressed when I start to think about our relationship.  You are better than Sam’s Club, that’s for sure, but that does not make you as awesome as so many may say.  You do have awesome stuff.  Where else can I get enough toilet paper to last me until the end of time for so little money?  Just the other day I bought some microwavable instant noodle bowls from your store, which are delicious by the way, but I stand here looking at them now thinking “Why did I buy these?”

And there is the rub, Costco.  I don’t know why I keep buying things from you.  For everything I buy that I actually need, like a package of 30 AA batteries, I buy two or three stupid things that I don’t need.  I don’t need instant noodle bowls or the pocket multitool.  I don’t a trash can that will open when I wave my hand in front of it.  No, Costco, I don’t need these things.

Costco, I love you no more.